This is the time of year where we tend to see a bump in the numbers of self-reflection. It makes sense, with New Year’s resolution deadlines looming and all.
After over a decade of knowing I yearned to work for myself, I left the structure and safety of a 9-5 in February 2023. With this came a lot of time back in my schedule; time that I could spend on my own reflection.
I went inward. It was somewhat unexpected and blindsided me in June, after co-teaching a Reiki Master course. “What the hell is this? Summer is my time to shine!”
‘Fraid not, kid.
In fact, thank whoever-you-believe-in that it was during the summer when I’m photosynthesizing and at my best. Had this happened when my seasonal affective disorder fires up, there wouldn’t be enough light therapy to turn it around.
I took the time to do some weeding, to clear out the mess before before I plant my next round of seeds.
What got me here? What patterns did I engage in that led me to burn out time after time? How much of this stems from my childhood and upbringing? Why do I look for certain characters in my life? What are boundaries and why am I horrible at setting/keeping them? What has to change in order for me to live a life of both personal and professional alignment? How can I improve?
In August, I taught Reiki 1 & 2 and things started to brighten.
(Break for awareness of the self-development surrounding my Reiki teaching schedule. Note to self - pad schedule with time to process.)
August brought forth a more “drinking from a firehose” kind of energy. New, fresh, exciting - ideas, gifts, collaborations, opportunities, realizations.
And while I spend most of my time back in the shallows these days, I occasionally swim back to the “deep end” to do some more work and don’t doubt that there are more deep-end-swimming days ahead.
But as I sit here in the early days of 2024, I’m looking to answer the following:
How can I make more of an impact?
What legacy will I leave behind?
What behaviors am I ready to let go of?
What lessons am I to learn next?
To the journal I go.
But here’s my takeaway. You may feel pressured right now to have the best resolution ready to go, to have it all figured out, to be working on the next best iteration of yourself.
I’m here to tell you it’s OK to pause.
To set your intention or resolution when you are good and ready.
Or maybe wait for when you’re told it’s time by forces unbeknownst to yourself.
My advice - keep your finger gently on the pulse. Break it off into easier digestible pieces to process. Revisit your needs every so often so you aren’t blindsided with a huge wave of “the work”. Be gentle with yourself - you deserve it.
Self-work can be done any damn time of the year you wish.
I wish you a beautiful 2024 with all the blessings, abundance, and "work" you can handle.
And as always, let me know if I can help in any way.
xoxo,
cwm
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